What to do when someone is being hurt
What it is
Bullying peaks between 9 and 12. Children who know what a bystander can do actually do it.
Start preparing
- Give concrete moves: stand next to the child, invite them away, tell an adult afterwards. Confronting is not required.
- Make telling an adult explicitly not 'snitching' — name the difference: telling to hurt versus telling to help.
- Ask 'who did you sit with today?' rather than 'was anyone mean?'
- If your child is the one being hurt: believe them, write down what happened with dates, and go to the homeroom teacher and the counsellor together.
When to check with a professional
Stomach aches before school, a child who stops wanting to go, lost belongings, or a sudden change in mood are worth raising with the school counsellor (yoetzet) rather than waiting.
Sources
- Bright Futures periodicity schedule — American Academy of Pediatrics
Compiled with AI assistance from the public sources listed above. Not yet reviewed by a clinician — check anything important against the source, with Tipat Halav or with your doctor.